Are We Growth Obsessed?
We recently asked a group of women to identify a value they were honoring by attending our session. I estimate 80% of the women replied they were honoring the value of growth. The universality of the response shouldn’t have surprised me. Enrolling in a leadership development program requires some desire for growth.
Yet, the response surprised me.
Are we growth obsessed?
I see growth obsession everywhere.
I’ve noticed myself moving away from a huge moment of celebration with my client about her growth right into “Where else can you apply this learning?”
We transform acknowledgment of positive attributes in some individuals into goals for everyone to achieve.
A program alumni recently asked a group if her desire for her new role was lacking a view of a growth opportunity.
I’m watching myself stay in a situation I should exit, because the situation might offer me an opportunity for growth.
Growth is not inherently bad
A growth orientation is a huge strength. And like any strength, it can become a hindrance if it’s the only gear we operate in. Humans are living beings and part of a much more expansive world of nature. Nature is cyclical. Plants only flower part of the year. Bears hibernate for many months of the year.
It's not only against the nature of our beings to grow constantly — it also comes at a cost.
It extinguishes the space that allows things to expand and highlight a path to you.
We lose the time to tend to the stress that leads to burnout.
It limits our creativity, which depends on open, unallocated time.
We fail to discern and prioritize what kind of growth would have the greatest impact.
We forget how to rest, play and regenerate.
It can take a toll on our relationships — even the ones we care about.
What's this constant pursuit of growth about?
A desire for growth is often rooted in a desired payoff. If you grow in a particular way, you’ll get access to some new possibility.
You pursue growth to increase your credibility. You think you need more credibility before you can feel confident in your current role. Or apply for a new role. Or operate the way you really want.
That's sometimes true, but the pursuit we see women take far exceeds what's really required for any of that. We see you pursuing growth to feel like you're enough.
You tell yourself that when you feel like enough, you’ll let yourself rest, play or be creative. That time doesn’t come. We've seen you move the yardstick of what enough looks like. Growth becomes the answer yet again.
Growth to feel like enough is a trap.
Holding both enoughness and growth
You are already enough, and you can still desire growth.
Seeing yourself as enough — however you are — and pursuing growth from that place is more satisfying. You get to ask yourself how you want to grow on either side of leadership. You may choose to grow in what you do or who you are as you do things.
An alternative to growth also emerges from enoughness.
We invite you to appreciate all the ways you’ve grown rather than pursuing more growth. Not only does this practice honor your enoughness, it also celebrates the nature of you as a human.
In North America, we’re in that season. The days are getting shorter with the sun retreating earlier each day. The leaves are changing colors and dropping from their branches. The air feels cooler and crisper. Cider is brewing on stoves. Pumpkin is making its way into recipes.
This is fall, the season of harvest designed to appreciate the bounty of the year. It calls us to not skip over our accomplishments in search of more, but to honor the growth we’ve cultivated. Only after we’ve done this can we plant new seeds with thought around the growth we want to cultivate in the year to come.
Call for reflection:
How have you grown this year? Which parts of your growth were planned and sought? Which parts of your growth were gifts budded from the circumstances of life? What does that offer you about your growth in the coming year?
Shine On,
Alicia