How to get comfortable being uncomfortable
A common thread among women I work with is a desire to learn, grow and feel stretched in some way.
Many of the opportunities to do that require staying committed, even when things get uncomfortable. Discomfort is part of every learning process. (Some moments of discomfort are actually a sign of having to be inauthentic to carry on, but it’s rare).
If you don’t get comfortable with discomfort, you won’t get the stretch you’re wanting
The fear of discomfort is one of the main reasons I see women talking themselves out of a stretch they’re wanting. The inner critic gets louder when you stretch, further fueling the discomfort. You’ll be more confident once you’ve navigated the uncomfortable territory, regardless of the outcome, but that can be really hard to believe when you’re buried under the fear of discomfort.
So what do you do?
An alternative way to land in discomfort
Instead of pushing yourself into discomfort, find uncomfortable territory that requires less pushing. You’ll need to push less when you have a fire within you to do the uncomfortable thing. Find opportunities where the benefit of stepping into discomfort far outweighs the discomfort that’ll come.
For many of the women I’ve worked with, big benefits come from identifying something that’ll impact others, beyond themselves or that is closely aligned with their purpose in their life.
Examples of getting comfortable with discomfort
I got comfortable interacting with and providing my opinion to the CEO of a company I worked for when it was related to expanding our Crossfit program to satellite offices. I got comfortable meeting with the president of WIlliams Sonoma when I worked there because the idea in my heart related directly to sustainability, which I deeply cared about. I got more comfortable selling my group programs to organizations when I saw the impact they had on the women in them. I wanted that for everyone and cared less about the discomfort that would come from scaling.
I’ve seen a woman stand up to her company in favor of a parental leave policy that would support her and all the parents who followed. I’ve seen women get comfortable talking dollars when it’s related to the budget for an employee resource group. I’ve seen women finally ask for more flexibility in work when they have a sick kid or an aging parent who needs tending. I’ve seen women finally willing to be confrontational when it’s in service of their child’s well-being.
Finding that thing for you
If you’re wanting a stretch but fear of discomfort is holding you back in some way, find something that compels you forward into that uncomfortable place. I’ve got two simple questions to get you thinking:
What do you care about — really?
Who do you want to support with your investment of time and energy?
These can be things within the realm of your career or elsewhere.
In some cases, you may just need to be reminded of your ability to be uncomfortable while you stretch. A simple way to remind yourself of this is to take inventory of all the things you’ve done even though they were uncomfortable.
Call for reflection:
What uncomfortable territory are you willing to enter in service of the stretch you’re wanting?
Shine On,
Alicia
(Image by Monica Silvestre via Pexels)