One powerful thing you can always control

We assert that everyone is a leader and leaders are responsible for their worlds. Part of being responsible is building a muscle to respond to our worlds, rather than react. Awareness is the greatest thing that supports that shift.
 
The task for you, as a leader, is to understand yourself more deeply. What triggers you into reacting? What you can do to self-manage? What responses would allow you to have the impact you want to have on our ourselves and our world?
 
The tricky part about self awareness is that it does not always feel like a gift in the moment.
 
Yes, sometimes a discovery is a pretty package. You may learn about a value you hold. You may unearth something we really want. You may uproot an emotion that has unconsciously driven your behavior. With these discoveries, your paradigm for how you live in the world suddenly makes sense. Things appear brighter and clearer. You exhale.
 
At other times, what you discover when you slow down can feel like a gut punch. You can feel naked and exposed in your own vulnerability. A sensation that only increases when someone else witnesses your discovery. A coach, a colleague, a friend, a partner. You may want to crawl into a hole because that part of you is hard to be with or to look at.
 
And often what you need in those moments is the exact opposite of what you experience. Your fear of judgement becomes reality. This judgment comes from other people. It sounds a little something like “wow, that is what is going on for you?” or “I can’t believe that is how you feel.”
 
But the worst kind of judgment is that which you give yourself. At Inside Out, we call this:

The one, two punch

The first punch comes from the discovery itself. The second punch comes when you judge what that discovery says about you.  
 
For example, I recently uncovered an area of my life where I'd invented some rules not serving me - slowing down (first punch). Then, I harshly judged myself for teaching something I don’t do all the time or in every area of my life. (second punch).
 
Starting right now, we want you to stop giving yourself the second punch. In a world that feels like you can control little, this is a simple, powerful thing you do control.
 
What we want you to do instead is to give yourself a hug, compassion, and love.
 
Next time you make a less than ideal discovery, reap the following words.
 
I, (name), love all of myself. Even the part that feels (emotion) for (action).
 

For example,
 
I, Alicia, love all of myself. Even the part of me that feels ashamed for going to bed at 8pm last night.
 
I, Alicia, love all of myself. Even the part of me that feels guilty for wanting shelter in place to continue, because that is an  economic privilege.
 

Love yourself this week.
 
Shine On, 
Alicia