One thing that is not conditional
This article addresses one of the core tenets of Rebellious Leadership for women. Over three months, my flagship program brings a group of women together to step into this paradigm so they can feel more freedom and regain agency over their own experience.
Rebellious Leader core tenet: A Rebellious Leader believes that her value is inherent, not earned.
One of the most transformative shifts I’ve seen women make is learning to rest in their value no matter what’s happening around them. It doesn’t mean that everything goes as she’d like or that nothing less than ideal crosses her path. But when those things happen, her value stays stable.
When bad things happen it’s not because of your unworthiness, but rather because part of life is dealing with unfavorable situations and outcomes. There’s nothing you can do to make yourself more valuable to prevent bad things from happening.
When you really believe this, you’ll be released from doing things simply to increase your value. Your value will always be there. You don’t have to do things to earn value, because your value is inherent.
When you stop doing things to prove your value or waiting to try things until you have more value, you’ll be able to choose things based on something other than fear.
You can do something because:
It’s interesting to you.
It’s an opportunity for you to express yourself and your talents.
It satisfies a creative longing or curiosity.
It honors something that’s valuable to you.
It brings you joy.
It sounds like a fun experiment or something to try.
When you remove the filter of whether something will make you more or less valuable, you’ll feel more free. Your willingness to take on leadership stretches will increase because missing the mark doesn’t mean you’re less valuable. You won’t have to worry about how anything impacts your value. Because, again, your value is inherent, not earned.
Similarly, when you recognize that saying no or holding boundaries doesn’t decrease your value, you’ll find the courage to do both. These kind-of hard decisions can then be an honoring of your value. You’ll treat yourself in a way that aligns with how you’d treat anything you’d value — namely with respect and appreciation.
This shift is Rebellious for most women because the predominant systems suggest we are less valuable. Women have been fighting not to have value but to have our value recognized by those systems. But because it’s painful to feel so unseen and undervalued, it’s sometimes easier to assume bias or treatment we receive is a reflection of our reduced value rather than an unfair system.
Rooting in your inherent value is not about predominant systems recognizing your value. This shift is about knowing your value even when others don’t see it. And letting the voice of those who see and appreciate your value dominate.
Call for reflection:
If it wouldn’t shift your value at all, what would you want to try?
Shine On,
Alicia
(Image by Randalyn Hill via Unsplash)