Tell me what you want, what you really really want
The end of any year and the beginning of the next is performance review time in the corporate world. And wow, does it bring anxiety for so many women. It did for me when I worked in a more traditional environment.
The biggest fear we hear women express is “what will I say about myself?” To that, we reply, “well, that depends on what you want.”
If you find yourself stressed out or overwhelmed about how to do your review, this article is for you. If your review already happened, this will make the process a little more easeful and clear next time.
But first... a story.
In 2013 I moved back to the Bay Area after a 4 years hiatus. I was freshly divorced and felt I owed a LOT to my company for transferring me to the Bay Area. They had made my fresh start possible (at least it felt like that at the time). And at some point, my role needed to transition from doing all the things, to doing some of the things. I could not support the level of business I had generated. (For any of you wondering, it is still hard for me to say that I generated that business). In the fall of that year, the CEO came into town and had scheduled time with me. We were to discuss the upcoming business planning cycle. In that meeting, he asked me “how are you thinking about where you put your focus as we scale?” I froze. I had never thought about it. In the midst of doing it all I never considered that doing less or creating focus would be a good thing. I had never asked myself what I wanted. I managed to survive the conversation and uncover what he would do if he was me. I then proceeded to do that for years. Spoiler alert - it was not the right thing for me. It was consistent and boring and I thrive on variety and novelty.
Why am I telling you this story?
First, it was not during review season. That is an important detail. Women often put their career path off their radar until absolutely necessary - review season. But it might matter at any point. In any conversation. So many women join our programs to get out of the weeds and to zoom out to look at their career.
Second, our dreams, if we dare to have them, can be a HUGE clue into how we talk about ourselves. And more specifically, what we choose to highlight in our performance reviews. When we know what we want, we can strategically use our performance review to outline how our experience qualifies us for exactly that. If you write your review without your desires in mind, you miss a BIG opportunity. One that allows you to create a narrative that clues other people into the possibility of your dreams,. It is impossible to talk about all the things you are doing. We know you do A LOT. This helps you be selective.
Taking the time to unearth your own desires is rebellious. In our programs, women spend time in dream land. Asking themselves what they want. Claiming that to a small group of women. And supporting and believing the dreams of other women. It is inspiring.
The women who join our programs want clarity. And so much of the questions you ruminate over become easier to answer when you start with what you want.
Shine On,
Alicia