The discomfort you are feeling is normal

I was working recently with a very senior female leader at a unicorn company. She was navigating a new role and manager. And a transition back into work following a six month maternity leave.

Her doubt was clear. It sounded like:
“I am waiting to realize that I am in over my head.”
“Very little of my experience translates to this new role.”

I introduced her to a simple framework. That can bring ease (and context) to navigating career changes.

The Four Stages of Competence

Unconscious Incompetence - You do not know what you do not know. This can feel like blissful ignorance. You have an idea of something but it is hard to know what something actually includes early on because it is so new.

Conscious Incompetence - You become aware of the amount you do not know. Oftentimes it is impossible to know how much will appear in this stage in advance.

Conscious Competence - After some time in your new role, you know how to do things. You can deliver what's expected, navigate the organization, enroll others. But you typically have to think about how to do everything. Nothing really feels like second nature. This can feel draining because it takes time and effort.

Unconscious Competence - Enough practice allows things to come with ease. It is also common to forget the value of what you learned. It is obvious now and is thus easy to forget you learned it in the first place. Your brain is likely hooked onto the next challenge. And the time and energy freed in this phase creates space to take on new challenges.

This is helpful to women navigating career changes for a couple of reasons.

First, you can set your expectations that there will be a very strong felt sense between the first two stages of competence. The first phase - Unconscious Incompetence - is a lot like blissful ignorance. You haven’t developed enough experience to uncover what you don’t know. When that becomes conscious in the second stage - Conscious Incompetence - overwhelm is common. You realize there is a lot to learn. What is harder to remember is how normal this experience is when we are learning. And it will pass. Once you are beyond the first time of doing everything.

Second, unconscious competence is inevitable. It is only a matter of time. We recommend that you track what you are learning as you learn. This becomes an easy reference when you prepare your performance review. ‘Tis the season. It can also be a practice in self appreciation - for your ability to grow and learn. When your growth continues and people step in to take on parts of your work - you will have more empathy for their learning process. Because you will have a record of your learning journey too.

So much comes down to realistic expectations of what career growth stirs up in you. And knowing it is all normal. As a means for having compassion for yourself as you navigate the process.

An invitation to reflect

What is one thing you developed unconscious competence for last year?

Give yourself a big hug of recognition.

Shine On,
Alicia