When persistence doesn't pay off

Have you ever had the experience where you buy a pair of shoes that look so good on the shelf, but they never work out?

When you put them on for the first time you wondered if they would be comfortable? You had that question in your mind from the very beginning. 

But you bought them anyway because you told yourself something like

“But they are flat or the heel is not that tall.”
   or...
“They are leather. They will stretch out.”

When you wear them out of the house for the first time, they rip your feet apart. So bad that you know that it is not a matter of needing to break them in.

You pull them off your swollen, blistered or bloodied feet at the end of the day. And you throw them to the back of the closet and promise you will never slip your feet into the shoes again. 

Then a month passes, maybe two, and you're pulling an outfit together and you see them in the back of your closet. They still look so good. Time has passed and you convince yourself that you should try them again. The scabs healed. They weren’t THAT bad. 

But sure enough they torture your feet again. 

More time passes and you reach for them again. This time telling yourself something like

“I spent $300. I have to get my money’s worth”
   or...
“So many people make these shoes look good, it has to get better.”
   or...
“They are the only shoes that go with this outfit.”

But the ripping apart of your feet continues. 

It sounds crazy to write this in detail. Yet I am SO GUILTY of this pattern. 

But you know what is even crazier?

This is the same experience we hear women repeat when they attempt to fit into the white, male, leadership model that does not represent them.

You tune out the voice that tells you something feels off and you charge ahead full steam. You see the discomfort as an experience gap or an adjustment period. So you seek input from other people on what to do to stop the pain. But day in and day out, you are licking your wounds after hours. And you manage your pain privately, because it should be better by now.

You may have small wins. Retiring some tool that may be the culprit for your feeling burned all the time. Or you do create a big enough buffer  like shaving yourself down so the pain doesn’t hurt as badly. Until it does. Or you burn out and switch jobs. It will be different THIS time.

You persist because now you worked so hard, it begins to feel like that $300 pair of shoes. All that you invested needs to pay off.

We are here to tell you - It does not have to be this way.

Shine on, 
Alicia