Are you setting yourself up to be unheard?
We know that there are hurdles that prevent you from sharing your ideas at work. Some resistance is due to early programming (anyone told to stay quiet and polite?). Other hesitancy comes from years of not being heard even when you shared ideas. Your inner critic also gets in the way. Convincing you that your ideas are obvious, not grand enough, or worse, stupid.
Our early programs invited participants to look at the way beliefs influence action. We would explore the beliefs women choose around their ideas at work. (Yes, we choose beliefs). We drew a link between how the way you look at your idea influences the action you do (or do not) take as a result.
We wanted to inspire women to choose perspectives that would lead to idea sharing. To have women influence the direction of things more often at work. To have their brilliance seen and recognized.
We found that our exercise did inspire women. And employers noticed. They promoted our alumni at high rates (up to 70%).
We know that inviting others to see our ideas gives us the opportunity to stand out. But even with those positive results, we didn't see the whole picture.
Sharing an idea is only part of what we need to grow into.
An idea forming in the back of my head solidified last week. And it was sparked by a woman in a class I facilitate at Stanford. She shared a great idea. Without missing a beat, the next words out of her mouth were “what do you all think?” What followed was a barrage of other people’s ideas. And the conversation never revisited her original idea. She felt dropped. And unheard. What she didn’t see is that she set herself up for her classmates to skirt past her idea.
The discomfort of letting an idea sit in silence is anxiety provoking and hard. It is vulnerable to not know how people will respond. This woman succeeded in avoiding that discomfort. But she also unconsciously directed the conversation away from her idea.
Women frequently do this.
Even if we overcome the hurdles and share an idea, we fall into a secondary trap.
We either:
Choose an action that turns attention away from that idea immediately afterward. Just like the woman I mentioned above.
Neglect to stay with our idea. This looks like saying it once and never saying it again. We back away from redirecting the conversation back to our idea. We don't seize opportunities to reiterate our ideas. We back away.
People adopt even the best ideas over time.
What might you do to increase the investment you are making in your own ideas?
Shine On,
Alicia