Authenticity is not necessarily your best friend
Years ago we met with a marketing consultant to develop our messaging to the women we wanted to serve. We left our work with her convinced that we should banish the word leadership. We’ve since reclaimed that word.
The lesson we did carry forward is that leadership is an ambiguous word. It carries a wide range of meanings and interpretations. To create clarity, we work to define that word as a group at the start of each of our programs.
Without hesitation, the word authentic arises to the surface in these discussions. But is authenticity the goal? And is it always achievable?
An asshole being an asshole is authentic, but is that what is wanting?
I offer this example in jest. Dramatic? Yes. Does it highlight that there are real limitations to authenticity? Yes.
Authenticity is important, but it is not everything.
When you do something for the first time it will almost never feel authentic. As a human and leader, you get to stretch yourself. This is part of taking on new challenges and dreams. In doing so, you are becoming a future version of yourself that will look and feel different than who you are today. When you are in the messy between place of new experiences, you will not feel like yourself. This comes with time.
That doesn’t make you inauthentic.
Holding yourself to a standard of authenticity in those moments is limiting. Optimizing for ways of being and doing that feel natural and comfortable will not make these transitions easier. They will keep you where you are.
Inauthenticity and discomfort are not the same thing.
What we want women to orient themselves towards more than authenticity is choice. To choose what you are moving towards. And to have that choice be conscious. When you do this and know why that is important to you, you give yourself more freedom.
What emerges is a playground to experiment with new ways of showing up in the world. Over time you can find ways to do those things in ways that feel more natural or attuned to who you are. Expecting to know what tweaks to make before you have started is unrealistic. You have to stumble through messy new territory. Which will be full of inauthentic feeling actions.
The further the dreams are from our current life, the messier that middle will feel. The bigger the impact you are wanting to create within your world, the more you will stumble. These will evoke a sense of inauthenticity within you. Don't let that deter you.
We invite you to consider that your feelings of discomfort are a sign.
You are finding your way towards meeting your future you. The one that has the struggle ahead of you nailed.
Shine On,
Alicia