Begin again
My first memory of freedom is from high school. I had my driver's license in hand and a junk car to explore Minneapolis in. No matter where I drove or who accompanied me, everything was remarkable, because it was all so new. Each car cruise was not about a particular destination. Each was a journey in itself.
Two rituals from those years are on my mind with the start of the new year.
The first is a Sunday night ritual I shared with a couple of friends. Piled into one of our cars, we'd kick off each evening by asking ourselves, “What should we get into tonight?”
Once, we went to the drive-in theater to see the movie “Blow” twice, back to back. Another time we parked at the local ski jump and challenged ourselves to walk up the jump to see the view from the top. There was no linear sense to our adventures week after week. We decided in the moment what we wanted to do, independent of any previous adventures.
The second ritual was one I used to mark the turn of each month with another girlfriend. We’d go for a cruise, roll down the windows and blast “1st of tha Month” by Bone Thugs-N-Harmony on repeat. That song, for us, represented the fresh energy of a new month. Those nights didn’t erase history, but they allowed us to shed some of its weight so we could feel more free.
Why do those stand out to me at this moment?
This week marks the beginning of a new calendar year. For me, the turn of the year is less about a fresh perspective and more about wanting to feel that freedom again.
I want to invite you to jump into my car for a moment. I’ll turn on the music, and your job is to feel the freedom of a new year.
Imagine it’s a Sunday night and we’re going on an adventure. Imagine anything is possible when I turn to you and ask, “What do you want to get into this year?” Your desires don't need to make sense. Trust them. You don’t have to know how any of them will unfold. Think about WHAT you want, and let go of the WHY and HOW of them.
What do you want to get into this year?
That sense of freedom breaks you out of feeling stuck and overwhelmed. It’s the key to feeling re-energized and re-inspired.
So often day-to-day life feels cumulative or linear. One thing happens and then another. Each step builds upon each other. It’s easy to get lost in that rhythm.
The difficulty with that built-upon path is that you look backward to find your future direction. You get trapped by the fallacy of sunk costs. That fallacy convinces you there’s no pursuit worth your time and energy except what’s already in front of you.
Deciding based on sunk costs means you decide which investments to make with your limited resources by looking at the investments you've already made. The question of what you want unconsciously transitions to which of your existing wants you want more of in the future. This anchors you to what already is and limits looking at what can be or what might be part of your future.
This is a fear-based approach. It hinders your ability to be free with your dreams, to make new choices and to change direction.
Unhook from what’s behind you when you ask yourself what you want. Sometimes, the most courageous choice is to start new.
You can begin again.
Call for reflection:
What do you want to get into this year? Let go of the fallacy of sunk costs, and let yourself dream freely as you enter this new year.
Shine On,
Alicia