Don’t wait for them to change

Women who work in male-dominated industries have to navigate norms designed and established without them in mind. Women feel their exclusion in the design of those norms every day. 

At a recent dinner with a good friend, we joked about creating #DesignedWithoutAWomanInTheRoom. There are hundreds of things designed without women. They're uncomfortably obvious to us. (Someone, please do this).

The pervasiveness of that felt experience for women makes change feel HUGE and OUT THERE. Or more often, UP THERE by the people who hold the decision-making power. And yes, those people need to make different decisions to create the change you want to see. Yet that thinking also dis-identifies many women as the change makers they are.
 

See change in how you decide to lead

I recently spoke to a client about how short-sighted her division's goals were. She could see the problems that would unfold in a year's time. She knew the company would be ill-equipped to clean things up down the line. And they'd have the wrong staff for that challenge. But she continued on with what was expected without question.

When you're in a situation like this, your satisfaction and fulfillment plummet. You turn down the light on the kind of leader you know you are and aspire to be. Losing that comes at a high cost. 

A moment like this requires you to see change not UP THERE but in how you decide to lead. There are things this client, like many of you, could not influence to the degree she desired.  Yet, she was able to identify a few places where she could adjust how she was leading her team to address what she knew. 

Another client had an aha about the impact of specific leaders on her entire career. Their strong leadership had informed her every pivot and shift. Key decisions had come down to the people around her.

In noting that, she saw how little she'd been leading with a people-first mentality. She'd been surviving, like many of you. Checking off the next thing in front of her as a way to preserve what little extra energy she had. She'd fallen into a cultural norm she didn't value. She yearned to bring people forward in her leadership.

She identified actions she could take right now that would support that desire. She could look to those who had modeled leadership that had benefitted her. Her shift was returning back to something that had been alive in different chapters of her career.

The lesson here is simple, yet hard to believe: You can do what these women did. Bring your leadership and desire back into the fold, regardless of what others are doing. 

When you catch yourself waiting on others to create the change you want, you have an opportunity. Ask yourself what you can do to create that change.

Small, local shifts are meaningful. That level of initiative, taken en masse, will create big change. You'll have a clear view into the impact you're creating. And it'll fill you up.

Call for Reflection: 

What is one action you can take to be the change you most want to see?

Shine On,
Alicia