Everything you want is here for you right now
There is a moment in many of our workshops where women realize they don't have to wait to feel gratified. And the key to feeling gratification now comes from tying your goals to an intention.
What do I mean by that?
One of my goals this year is to move and establish roots in Bend. At this moment, I am waiting for a flight up to meet my husband and that goal feels very far away. I am inundated by decisions I hadn’t anticipated would agonize me. I just finished an hour of image scrolling to find clarity on whether I want wood or white baseboards. This is sadly not a joke, though I wish it were and I have no more clarity, only more options. It feels very possible to stop short of my goal this year if each of the decisions ahead of me takes hours.
When I look at the same goal with a look towards my intention, a path emerges. I ask myself “who do I imagine I need to BE to hit my goal”. This is an unhooking from what I will DO and a settling into who I will BE. The qualities in me that I want to embrace and bring forward.
I want to be a marathon woman. To pursue goals not as a sprint, but as a marathon. It is necessary to derive any sliver of joy from the process. And the best part is that I can live that intention right now. And sitting at the airport RIGHT NOW, I can ask myself what I would DO if the focus were to honor that intention. The answer again becomes simple. I can free myself from the pressure I’ve created to know the answer to every question before I land in Bend. Doing so allows me to switch gears and to focus on another of my loves (you!).
Amazing things emerge when we do things in small steps
Last November Oprah interviewed Lady Gaga. I don't need another reason to love Gaga, but I found one anyway. She spoke gracefully of this same idea - tiny steps - as it related to her starting a new line of her business.
You know, it’s very easy to say to someone, “Be brave,” but it’s not so easy to practice. I mean, if you feel shame for who you are, and you don’t feel supported by people around you, you’re afraid. Shame is powerful. But give yourself time. Allow yourself to take little bites every day. That’s what I would say: Take little bites of bravery. I wouldn’t say it’s a false life. I would say that’s a reality, and that reality can change.
The interview inspired me to look for people taking tiny bites. I found examples everywhere.
No one embodied this more than a student of mine at the end of last year. She is the queen of taking little bites of bravery. A handful of years ago, she wanted people to hear her voice. She was working in South Africa and shared little identity with those in power (and privilege). It seemed like an impossible goal. So she took tiny bites.
Each day she grew courage to invite herself to sit at the lunch table with people who looked nothing like her. These people dominated and defined the voice in her workplace. First, she would sit. Then she would respond to the conversation, regardless of if there was an invitation. Eventually she began to create the conversation. Then she pushed herself beyond the lunch table.
During the class when she recalled these bites, a student responded. “I would never feel comfortable doing that.” Without missing a beat, she quipped “don’t for a second think I felt comfortable. Action doesn't require comfort. It requires a choice to be courageous and brave."
What do you want to take a tiny bite of today?
Shine On,
Alicia