There is a heroine around every corner
Our programs emerged from knowing the conventional leadership model was letting women down. We’d seen women contort themselves to mimic the white male leaders they could see.
In the end, they had no sense of accomplishment. No joy. Many couldn’t even recognize themselves in the people they’d become. The reward couldn’t outweigh the string of costs they paid along the way.
The leaders we see highlighted by the media and in male-dominated industries are only a sliver of what’s possible. Our society perpetuates that vision for leadership everywhere.
When you’re bombarded with those examples, it can seem like that’s the only available way to be a leader. It is not.
You have to both:
Trust and give attention to your yearnings for leadership.
Source examples of leaders you admire. Have them represent something that inspires you.
Heroine collecting
A friend of mine has a practice she calls heroine collecting. She created it in response to a perpetual feeling of loneliness in her field. She was tired of feeling wrong or hearing she was "thinking about things wrong." She had a knowing inside of her that she was brilliant, not crazy.
For her, heroine collecting is searching the internet for examples of people who have what she wants — who navigated their way into it through unconventional approaches.
When you source your own leadership examples, loneliness will cede. You’ll trust what you know is true for you. Courage will follow.
This is a personal investment in shaping the view of leadership accepted by society.
Ideas to inspire your own heroine collection
“In Praise of Difficult Women” by Karen Karbo
Karen’s collection includes a few favorites (and more)
Carrie Fisher. She refused to hide her bi-polar disorder, despite society suggesting she hide it. She stepped up as an advocate for normalizing mental health.
Diana Vreeland. She pioneered the anti-advice column, “Why Don’t You” during her time at Harper's Bazaar. Every week she used extravagance and play to influence readers. This was outside the boundaries of what was acceptable for women when she was at the Harper’s helm in the 1930s!
Shonda Rhimes. She owns her ambition and continues to build her empire. She disrupted the prime time standard by casting people of color into “Grey’s Anatomy.” Oh, and she adopted a child on her own while being vocal about having no interest in marriage.
Creating a heroine wall
If you’re inspired through visuals, create a heroine wall. Mine is on the stairway leading down to my office. The prints are the brilliance created by GillDCreative, an Oakland, California-based artist. Each morning I say hello to Shirley Chisholm, Frida Kahlo, Rachel Carson, Dolly Parton and Ruth Bader Ginsburg.
Call for reflection:
Where do you find yourself complaining about someone? What’s the unexpressed request beneath your complaint?
Shine On,
Alicia