What unlocks when you lead, your way
This article addresses one of the core tenets of Rebellious Leadership for women. Over three months, my flagship program brings a group of women together to step into this paradigm so they can feel more freedom and regain agency over their own experience.
Rebellious Leader core tenet: A Rebellious Leader has relaxed away from the idea that there is only one right way and sees the value in leading, her way.
A client recently expressed exhaustion at perceived demands on her. She felt she was having to dissect everything around her. That every decision had to be heavy and thorough. With the end goal being to maximize and optimize her life and career. She was giving her energy to discussions she found uninteresting and unnecessary.
I see this all the time.
The origins of one right way
Dominant culture created a specific way of navigating the world. Media then reinforces the same way because dominant culture influences media too. Over time you begin to think what you most often see is the RIGHT WAY. With near constant reinforcement, the idea of another way fades into the background. What you see portrayed becomes the only option. So you work to mold yourself into the style of leading defined by dominant culture.
The impact of the right way on women
The problem for women arises when what you see portrayed runs counter to what's natural. Or energizing. Or interesting. It doesn't mirror what’s reinforced.
Over time, you feel deficient or less than. Simply because your desires stand outside of the dominant culture’s paradigm. In response, you shut down the whispers of their heart about who you want to be. And how you want to show up.
You trade who you are for a level of security you think may come from merging with the dominant way. At scale, diversity of thought and action dwindles away. That absence causes huge negative implications on society.
How to break free from the right way so your way can emerge
The first step in coming back to your way is noticing when you get caught up in a narrative of the right way. This often sounds like “should.”
I should have an opinion on this.
I should want to look at this.
I should want to understand this.
I should focus on this more than that.
This should be important to me.
When you identify the “should” moments, you can change how you look at what’s in front of you. Instead of focusing on what you “should” be moving towards, look a little deeper at what is present. Your way, naturally and with less effort.
My client’s noticings were small but meaningful. She trusted what didn’t feel right instead of trying to dissect why. She made choices based on what drew her attention rather than what fit into some large, grand plan.
When you shift away from what is NOT there and look at what IS there, your way emerges. Over time you’re freed from the idea there’s one right way to lead. And you begin to gather the truth of your way.
What unlocks when you learn to lead, your way
When how you lead starts to honor your inherent nature, several things happen.
You have more clarity on what to do. You’ll spend less time scenario planning, questioning your method and mitigating risk.
You have far more energy to funnel into the impact you want to create. You'll waste less energy contorting yourself into a way of leading that doesn’t work for you.
Your trust of your own way increases. A foundation of confidence emerges. Once you've created a compelling impact you'll see the value in your way. You’ll be free from better or worse comparison and see the value in your difference.
You feel inspired to stretch and learn. And have the capacity to do so. Your desires for yourself will be opportunity driven rather than deficiency driven.
Call for reflection:
What’s coming naturally to you? What is the value in leading, that way?
Shine On,
Alicia
(Image by Rommel Davila via Unsplash)