You might be right to ignore logic
In a recent session we led on women’s leadership, a woman was assessing how she was approaching something in front of her. At some point in her analysis she said, “I know logically… but I keep not doing it.” Many women in the workshop could relate.
You logically know a lot of things, yet you behave in a way that doesn't align with that logic. And then you beat yourself up for not doing things in a way that correlates to that logic.
This happens all the time. It’s not just you. There are good reasons for continued misalignment between logic and action.
1. What you’re currently doing has value
What you're doing now has a real, valuable purpose and satisfies a core human need. You have to see and honor that need before you change what you’re doing, even if the change seems logical.
Further, you have to understand how you can still meet that need if you change your behavior, ideally with less cost. In some instances, you'll identify a more compelling or important need met by your new course of action — as I have to to shift my tendency to control.
2. You are having feelings counter to that logic
Your emotional world is deviating from the logic you're holding. When that happens, you may tend to diminish what you’re feeling and vote instead with logic. That method places a higher value on your logic than on your emotional knowledge source. When you devalue your emotions, they'll persist. They have a message they'd like you to hear.
Women face this challenge as they become more senior. It’s logical for senior leaders to spend more time outside of your organization. Yet, you may feel you're abandoning your team.
These conflicts between logic and emotion are a gateway to defining leadership. Your way. In the case of becoming more senior, creating context and messaging for the change in focus can be hugely valuable for those in your org and for yourself. Including the emotion in your response builds integrity with the leader you want to be.
3. Some logic is conditioning from conventional systems
A lot of the business advice and best practices you hear uphold patriarchy. Most authors of prominent leadership literature are white men. Their perspective is limited and not applicable to everyone. What worked for them may not work for you. Nor may the methods explained sound all that interesting or energizing to you. And that's OK. There is no right or wrong way to lead. We want you to develop your own way and feel the power of that approach.
Next time you say you logically know something but… catch yourself in that moment. Consider taking a critical look at the logic.
Call for reflection:
What’s a piece of logic you catch yourself ignoring. What might be the flaw in that logic?
Shine on,
Alicia