Making space for transitions
As a new mom over the last eight months. I need to be respond-able now more than ever. My default choices are no longer available. I'm faced with new constraints and responsibilities.
I understand this reality, because I’ve recognized the completion of my life without a child.
What recognition of completion looks like
In euro-centric culture, we breeze right by transitions. We don’t pause to honor the shift, because we’re onto the next thing. We jump over what ended (in my case, non-parental life) to focus only on what began (motherhood). That’s the norm.
To better honor the transition, I instead created the space to complete the non-parental chapter of my life before having a child. For me, this unfolded slowly throughout my pregnancy, and it allowed me to enter motherhood with intention.
It's important to note I was able to do this even without having a clue about what was about to begin.
Without this space for completion, I would have begun this new chapter the way I ended the last: without intention.
Why completion is important
Without a sense of completion and transition to a new chapter, I would hold myself to a set of standards that were no longer realistic. This happens all the time.
Think about the pandemic. How many of you have held yourself to a set of old standards for longer than what serves you?
Think about a job role change, like into management. How many of you transition into management and expect yourself to operate like you did as an individual contributor?
Invite completion anytime you experience a change in circumstances, big or small.
Completion can be simple
Completion does not have to be as large as rites of passages from the old days. It can be simple, and you can weave it into smaller changes as well as the big ones.
Retrospectives common in many companies are a form of completion. They extract the learnings so forward movement and change is possible. Without this, costly mistakes will follow in whatever is ahead.
To create a sense of completion, ask yourself these two questions:
What do I want to leave behind?
What do I want to bring forward?
Choosing responses allows a new beginning to emerge with clarity and intention.
Call for reflection:
What part of your past is still with you today (where you don’t want it)? Close it out with a proper completion.
Shine On,
Alicia